60-second cinema

8 out of 10 This is a French film documentary set in a small one-room school. The cast are about a dozen children aged between 4-11 and their teacher (George Lopez). I'll be honest, I was expecting an overly sentimental (and probably pretentious) look at some nauseating French kids. I was very pleasantly surprised. It is simply a look at life in a small school. My favourite moments were the scenes at home with the family 'helping' the kids with their homework. Although this was no doubt influenced by my inability to help my 9 year old with his maths. The film ends appropriately at the end of the school year. The relationship between the children and Mr Lopez is poignantly illustrated when three of the children leave to go to middle school. Even my cynical 'heart of stone' was warmed. I found myself thinking how nice it would be to be a teacher ... of course I came to my senses later. However it is an indication though of how much the film gets under your skin...

7 out of 10 Day Watch is the concluding part of the story of Dark and Light started in Nightwatch The truce between the dark and light is under threat, when a member of Nightwatch (Anton Gorodetsky - played by Konstantin Khabensky ) is framed for the murder of a Dark Other. Anton also needs to prevent his trainee and love interest Svetlana ( Mariya Poroshina ) from meeting with his son. Both are incredibly powerful but have chosen different sides (Dark and Light respectively). Throw into the mix a legend of Mystic Chalk that enables the owner to correct previous mistakes, Vampires, body swapping and side plots that would be at home in any soap opera, it is very hard to give a synopsis of the film without it sounding silly. The daftness is overshadowed by the fact that it is completely compelling and good fun to boot. The visuals and effects are of a very high standard although the sound will not be to everyone’s cup of tea (loud heavy metal music is played whenever the vampires ar...

3 out of 10 A lot of people consider this film to be a classic. I found it to be a daft, broad-strokes satire, without being particularly funny or cutting. Maybe it helps to be a Peter Sellers fan — which I’m not — as he plays 3 of the key roles. Really, I’m lost for anything else to say. After hearing such good things about it, I found it a big disappointment. Never mind.

3 out of 10 I wasn't totally convinced by the first film — at least, not by its ending — so was hoping for more second time around. The film opens showing a family's desperate, and only partially successful attempts to escape the infected hordes. These are the best 10 minutes of the film. Fast-forward 28 weeks and we're now in a thoroughly-isolated Great Britain, with the rage virus slowly dying out as the zombified populace starves. Survivors are even being reintroduced to parts of London. Enter the Americans. Yep, in a lazy, unrealistic gung-ho manner, they start messing everything up. Okay, so you might think the US Army's pretty good at screwing up other countries, but the level of incompetence depicted here just ruins the film. Seriously, it's just plain annoying and from here-on out, the film has nothing new to offer. Maybe, just maybe, they'll finally get things right after 28 months ...

7 out of 10 An entertaining, if somewhat implausible, comedy following the after-effects of a one-night stand. While the eventual outcome (and I don't just mean the dropping of sprog) is somewhat predictable, the film still manages to provide a few good laughs and the odd moment of pathos. Well... maybe that's a bit strong, but it does highlight some of the differences between men and women quite nicely — especially from a bloke's point of view. Refreshingly, it's not just a lazy, gross-out comedy of the kind you might expect from, say, Ben Stiller or the American Pie stable. It's actually pretty good, with all of the key actors putting in good turns. Whether in the cinema, or later on DVD, it's definitely worth seeing. It might not be a rolling-on-the-floor kind of movie, but there's still plenty to make you smile.

4 out of 10 I'm really not sure which of the Potter films I've seen, but I'm starting to think that I should've been paying attention to the evolving story. Coming into the Order of the Phoenix with little recollection of what came before was a bad idea, as the film totally failed to work as a stand-alone episode. There appeared to be an almost complete lack of progression. If this were a TV series, I'd say Phoenix was a filler episode. Okay, so a major bad guy made a brief appearance, but he disappeared again with little overall effect. Seemingly bit-part characters were dispatched. Oh, and Harry got what I assume is his first snog. Pretty much business as usual. Yawn.

5 out of 10 With three villains — Venom, the Sandman and the resurrected Green Goblin — Spidey's third outing simply tried to cram too much in. I would've been much happier had the story followed just on one of those characters, preferably the Sandman. Here was a guy with the classic internal conflict. A character who straddled the line twixt good and bad, falling mainly on the good side. With him as the focus, we could've had another cracking film, but it wasn't to be. An opportunity missed. :(