60-second cinema

5 out of 10 *Sigh* This should have been good. Carpenter writes, directs, and provides the 80s-synth, Precinct 13 style, theme. We're on Mars, heading to a remote mine, to arrest a bad guy who isn't. We've lost contact with the mine, but that's ok - we have guns. But somehow, all the promised strands never seem to go anywhere. Take for example Pam Grier's butch police commander. Was that a gay lust theme starting there on the train? Not that it matters. She soon "disappears" before re-entering as an unsurprising head-on-a-stake. When I say "disappears", I mean exits, stage right. That's it. No drama, no suspense, just left the stage. Instead of on-a-stake, perhaps Pam's head could have flown around attacking the laid back good guys with alien burn-spittle. Ok, lame, but a little less obvious. Thankfully, some action kicks-off. Cannae help but feel these bad fella s'no trying very hard. One goodie gets a circul...

8 out of 10 Grease - classic. Singing, dancing, ham acting, mid-30s pretending to be teens. What more could you want? Baby slept though the lot. Was bothering me where else I'd seen Kenickie - Babylon 5 of course!

3 out of 10 The first film was great. This one is pants. Not enough political intrigue, too much spinning-camera-round-stationary-subject, leaving the viewer wondering just-wtf-were-they-thinking.

1 out of 10 Dear Sean, Gimme my goddamn two hours back. Tell you what - watching Zeta-Jones stick her bum in the air , twice, was fun - I'll settle for an hour 55. Yours, Lindsay