Ghosts of Mars

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5 out of 10

*Sigh*

This should have been good. Carpenter writes, directs, and provides the 80s-synth, Precinct 13 style, theme. We're on Mars, heading to a remote mine, to arrest a bad guy who isn't. We've lost contact with the mine, but that's ok - we have guns.

But somehow, all the promised strands never seem to go anywhere. Take for example Pam Grier's butch police commander. Was that a gay lust theme starting there on the train? Not that it matters. She soon "disappears" before re-entering as an unsurprising head-on-a-stake. When I say "disappears", I mean exits, stage right. That's it. No drama, no suspense, just left the stage.

Instead of on-a-stake, perhaps Pam's head could have flown around attacking the laid back good guys with alien burn-spittle. Ok, lame, but a little less obvious.

Thankfully, some action kicks-off. Cannae help but feel these bad fella s'no trying very hard. One goodie gets a circular saw blade, just as the rest duck back to safety. Note to baddies - fire the weapons earlier.

Being honest, I'm only two thirds through the film. I know how it ends. The whole thing is a flashback. I suppose the point is to learn how this came to pass. Yeah well, I can guess.

The movie of the video game, before its time.

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