Transformers

By Mal -

4 out of 10

For any normal movie, I'd say this was terrible. Truly awful. And less forgivably so than the original cartoon movie. But... he wasn't really trying, was he? Michael Bay wasn't trying to make a good movie, right? I figure there are two approaches you can take with a film (and franchise) like this:

  1. Really invest some time and effort to understand what people loved about the original, then reward them with an intelligent, modernised interpretation, OR
  2. Forget all about what people liked, forget about dialogue, forget about acting and forget about intelligence. Just focus on a bit of blockbuster CGI and throw in some lame clichés.

Let's face it: he took the latter option. Lazy bastard.

Even the CGI was disappointing, though. I wanted to see transformations more like what my toys did, not this million-moves-a-second nonsense that was too quick to follow. I wanted to feel like the robots were my friends brought back to life. But, no. Instead, it was near impossible to make out. I longed for a slow-mo remote control. Never mind.

That said, I did find myself giving in to the B-movie rubbishness and started enjoying the film in the middle. It's just a pity those fleeting moments were sandwiched by two big doorstops of disappointment loaf.

Comments

Colin said…
"forget about dialogue, forget about acting and forget about intelligence."
Erm... this is a film about alien robots that come to earth and turn into cars? It's a big stupid film that doesn't pretend to be anything other than that, and for that reason alone i think you are being a bit harsh. I would have given it a 6.
11:50 pm
Mal said…
I dunno. Yes, it may be a ridiculous premise, but aren't all superhero films pretty silly in that respect? Didn't stop Batman and Spider-Man being damned fine films.

Okay, so I gave Fantastic Four a good mark too, but I think I had less invested in that. I'm still upset about the over-complicated transformations in this film. And the bit parts played by some of the 'bots. And the Hollywood-friendly, but totally unauthentic Decepticon that transformed from the ghetto blaster. And people getting off on Bumblebee's bonnet. Egads!
5:37 pm
Colin said…
I didn't like the CD player robot either, In robot form it never looked like it was a ghetto blaster. The less said about the bumbleebee bonnet 'incident' the better.
My only additional gripe was that the pacing was a bit odd. After initailly seeing the damage that the Decepticons could reek, there wasn't really any feeling of foreboding until the climatic moments.
I thought it was unpretentious and entertaining enough... provided your expectations were low. :)
12:13 pm
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