60-second cinema

4 out of 10 Making the most of Grant’s extensive DVD collection, tonight it was the turn of Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s sports-based buddy comedy thing. A similar type of humour to last night’s Anchorman, but it didn’t come close to the number of laughs. All a bit lame, really. And to think these guys gave us the excellent South Park movie. :-/

7 out of 10 Fairly enjoyable in a kind of tongue-in-cheek way, with plenty of one-liners you’ll be able to tire your mates with for weeks. Now I know where Grant gets half of the nonsense he comes out with. ;) Good doses of political incorrectness and plain stupidity added to the mix nicely. Even looks like half of it was ad-libbed, judging by the out-takes in the credits sequence.

8 out of 10 Would it be too lazy to say this was freakin’ sweet? Probably, but it was good. I mean, really, how far wrong can you go with 1½ hours of the best cartoon on TV? One highlight of many: Jesus performing miracles. Just watch it; you’ll see. :)

6 out of 10 Surprisingly enjoyable rubbish, considering what I thought of the sequel . Speaking of which, I’ve already forgotten its story, which probably proves something. At least this one (the original) hangs together okay.

6 out of 10 I really don’t have much time for Russell Crowe. And Renée Zellweger constantly looks like she’s sucking a lemon. Despite these prejudices, this was actually quite good. Crowe didn’t annoy me at all and even played his rôle well. Oh, and the boxing looked surprisingly real too—ouch!

6 out of 10 I’m not 100% sure of the angle this film was trying to take. At face value, it’s a story of one man’s (or a group of men’s) somewhat-empty experience of the first Gulf War. If you need to look deeper, I’m sure Mark Kermode would be more than willing to oblige by mentioning the irony of soldiers getting pepped up by watching an anti-war film ( Apocalypse Now ). Overall though, Jarhead was a resigned, dispassionate look at the modern marine’s tour of duty that left me pretty dispassionate in my review. Jake Gyllenhaal was good, though.

2 out of 10 Pants. But then I’m not one for vampire flicks anyway, so it didn’t stand much of a chance. My instinct to give it 2 rather than 1 must mean it has at least one redeeming feature, though. Question is, what is it? Oh yes: Kate Beckinsale in rubber. :)